Never Forget
by Two Hearts
Summary: A man unwilling to commit, a woman whose heart has shattered. Love can so easily turn to hate. Kagome vows to make Sesshomaru feel the same heartache he has inflicted upon her, but will her vengeful schemes backfire when, finally, Sesshomaru realizes how much Kagome means to him and vows to mend her broken heart? Or was he too late?
1. Broken Promises

**Word Count: 1,500**

**Prompt: All-in**

Broken Promises

_Does he truly love me? Or am I just being played again? _

Kagome was on the phone with the man she desperately loved, his deep, husky voice—as always—affecting her, arousing her even as he disappointed her with the things he said.

"I know I promised to get off early and come over to share diner with you, but I'm unable to get away from work right now. Not for many hours actually, so I won't be able to visit tonight. I'm sorry, Kagome."

Clenching her hand around her cellphone, she forced her voice to remain light and unconcerned even while her heart panged painfully in her chest. "Don't worry about it, Sesshomaru. I know you're very busy learning how to take over your father's company. You know I'd never get upset over something so important."

_More important than spending time with me. _

Voice think with both relief and guilt, he said, "I know you don't, but I'm truly sorry about this. I'll make it up to you, love. Rain check?"

"Of course," she all but choked after he gave her his deceitful endearment that implied so much but somehow meant nothing at all. "Don't overwork yourself, you hear? Even big executives like yourself need to reboot some time."

His amused chuckle filtered through her cell, doing wicked things to her nerves.

"I'll try not to. And don't stay up too late. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Sesshomaru," she whispered.

_Click._

He hung up on her.

As she lowered her cell from her ear, she turned her head to gaze at her small dining room table with its pretty, white table cloth, her best china dishes at two place settings, Italian pasta bowl in the center next to a chilled bottle of red wine, and the two lit candles to give it a romantic theme.

Walking over to the table, she leaned over and blew out the candles with a heavy heart.

Another broken promise.

Too many to count.

Ignoring the uneaten meal, her own appetite lost, Kagome grabbed the bottle of wine; forgoing the wine glass, she went into her living room and sank into her sofa, curling against the arm rest.

Lifting the bottle to her lips, she took a swallow of the potent yet fruity brew while her memories surfaced. She had known Sesshomaru for seven years now, an unlikely friendship formed while they had attended the same private school. She had been fifteen, Sesshomaru seventeen. She came from a minimum wage family, he a multibillion dollar company his father owned and was head of. Those first three years of their friendship consisted of her giving her all, compromising, and being understanding while Sesshomaru learned to one day take over his father's company.

Who was she to complain, ask for anything, to cling to a man who had so many responsibilities resting on his broad shoulders? At first, she didn't mind, was grateful that he was in her life, her friend. However, all that changed while she was in college, working towards her nursing degree when Sesshomaru's attitude towards her shifted, became closer, more intimate.

He would never make any promises, but he had started calling her 'love', looking at her with passion filled eyes, and utter sweet words of love and togetherness. He didn't kiss her at first, never touched her intimately, but after a year of this strange new closeness that had her heart thumping painfully in her chest, made her realize how much she loved him, their relationship changed again.

His touch would linger. He'd hug her too close, molding her body to his powerful frame. Heated whispers against her ear. Then, finally, their first kiss two years ago.

Even though he didn't speak of the future, she knew, felt that he cared just as deeply for her as she did for him. But then, out of nowhere, her fantasies of a future with him shattered.

Taking a deeper drink from her bottle of wine, she remembered so clearly—a handful of months after their first kiss—how he had become distant, closed off from her. He had ignored her calls, her texts, forgone meeting up with her to spend time together. Not only that, but he had stopped calling her 'love', had stopped saying anything intimate, let alone touching or kissing her.

For three whole months, he was like a ghost, barely there, and she didn't know why. She had been in an agony of despair, constantly asking herself—asking him—_why_? An answer was never given, and she had been too afraid to really push for those answers, fearing he would disappear altogether.

Soon he started insinuating, telling her she should find a man to please her, to sleep with since she was twenty and still a virgin. He said nothing of being this man, had all but pushed her into the arms of another—Koga—until finally, hurt by Sesshomaru's callous treatment of her and feeling less than a woman in his eyes, she'd gone to Koga's apartment.

However, instead of being the considerate lover he portrayed himself to be, Koga had her flat on her back, and breached her maidenhead with an inconsiderate thrust. The couple was over before it had begun, but by then, Kagome already felt like a cheap whore.

Regret settled in.

In her desperate need to feel wanted, desired, she had cheapened herself because of heartbreak.

She never saw Koga again.

She remembered crying to Sesshomaru, but instead of comforting her, he'd admitted that he, too, had taken a lover. To Kagome's disbelieving ears, he told her about 'the bitch' who had strung him along, cheated on him multiple times, and treated him like dirt.

Finally, Kagome understood why he had been ignoring her and pushing her into another guy's arms. It was so he wouldn't feel guilty of being with another.

Betrayal.

The pain in her chest had been immeasurable, but she had been too numb to act, to rile and scream. It was because of Sesshomaru's callous actions that another man had been her first, when all she had wanted was him. For the first time, her eyes were opened to the real man who stood before her. She remembered every lie, every broken promise—and there were many.

She had always forgiven him, thought she had understood because of the pressure put on him to take over for his father one day. Hell, his parents didn't even _know_ about her! Sesshomaru had always told her they wouldn't approve because her station was far beneath their own, but that it hadn't mattered to him. That he loved her.

_Did he ever truly love me? Have I meant nothing at all to him this whole time?_

He'd strung her along, there was no getting around that awful, painful truth.

Later, when she was alone in her apartment, she didn't cry, still too numb, but the worst was just beginning.

That night, he called her. He was obviously drunk by his slurred words—which had surprised her as she had never known him to drink to this extent—and begun judging her, blaming her for what had happened with Koga. Sesshomaru said he was supposed to have been the one to take her virginity, that now that another man had been inside her, she was used goods. He'd demanded how she could have betrayed him like that? Cheated on him? On and on it went, each word like a knife to her heart, and tears fell unheeded down her cheeks.

The next morning, he had apologized, but Kagome had detected no true remorse for saying those dreadful things to her, only that he had become emotional. It was all about him—never her.

However, despite everything, she still loved him if bitterly. She should hate him. She did.

Now, two years later, he was treating her as he had when she was nineteen. Again with the lingering touches, the heated kisses, and saying all the right things. He had been at it for little over a year now, and she couldn't help but soak up his attention like a sponge, but still he did not make love to her, no matter how often he claimed to desperately want to.

She was too good for him, he claimed. He felt unworthy, didn't want to ruin things between them.

He didn't seem to realize it already was.

Yet still she hoped, her love for him not yet fully corrupted by hatred.

Getting up from her sofa, she put away the uneaten remains of diner, before dressing for bed.

The next morning, Sesshomaru called.

Giddy as always to hear from him, she answered happily, "Good morning, Sesshomaru."

There was a pause on the other end of the line before he said, "Kagome, we need to talk. I met someone. I want you to meet her."

And like that, all her hopes were finally dashed, her heart shattered beyond repair.

Love could so easily turn to hate.


	2. Bittersweet

**Word Count: 1,500**

** Prompt: Bluff**

Bittersweet

As Kagome listened to Sesshomaru speak, righteous anger suffused her entire being.

"Her name is Rin, and she's been working here as my new secretary for a couple months now. I don't know how it happened but we went out for drink last night," _last night_? thought Kagome, remembering their diner plans with bitterness, "and we connected. It was like I was seeing her for the first time. I want her to meet my best friend, you, Kagome."

_Best friend?_ Was that seriously all he thought of her? After all the intimate talks and heated embraces, she was just his best friend?

At first, she wanted to scream at him, for stringing her along _again_! She wanted to demand if he thought of her as only a _best friend_, then _why_ had he always chased away any man who was interested in her and told her that she was his?

_Why did you kiss me?!_

_ Why did you say you loved me?_

_ Why!_

All these questions she wanted to demand answers for, but she choked back the words that felt like venom in her throat. An insidious plan formulated in her mind, and before she could decide if she would implement her enraged idea, she found herself calmly saying, "Of course, Sesshomaru. I'd love to see your new girlfriend."

One last hope. Please, let him deny it when she referred to Rin as his girlfriend. This was a misunderstanding; it had to be…

"Excellent. I've already told her all about you, and she would like to get to know you, become friends with you, too. I know you'll like her, Kagome. She even asked me to give you her number. Do you have a pen and paper?"

Hope dashed.

Seething rage.

"Yeah, just give me a minute to get them," she said through gritted teeth.

If Sesshomaru noticed her underlying mood, he gave no indication. Oblivious to her true feelings as usual, seethed Kagome.

"I'm ready whenever you are," she said, pen at the ready to jot down this faceless woman's digits.

Afterwards, Sesshomaru said in a low voice, "There's just one thing, Kagome."

"Yeah?"

"Rin can't know about…the intimate details between us. We're just friends after all. It didn't mean anything, and I know she would misunderstand if she knew. You understand, right?"

"Of course, I do. Do you take me for an idiot?" she joked. "I knew before you said anything that I wasn't to mention any of _that_."

Sounding relieved, he replied, "I know, I just…don't want to fuck this up. I can tell she's…special."

_And I'm not?_

"Now I'm really curious to see this woman who could make you say _that_. When is a good time to give her a call?"

"Her lunch break which is one in the afternoon. Oh, and one more thing. Don't tell her about my bad tendencies. Don't want to scare her off," he chuckled, but Kagome knew he was serious.

"No problem," she replied, while thinking, _Oh, I won't tell her how you're a cheating, lying bastard! At least not yet._

Pretending that everything was fine, they hung up after Sesshomaru promised to call again.

Yeah, right. Like she would believe_ that_ lie.

After the call ended, her anger morphed into unbearable loss, the pain in her heart agony. So much so, she lifted a hand to cover her beating heart, a lost, dazed look overtaking her expression as she gazed around herself with unseeing eyes. Her knees hit the floor before she realized that they had given out on her.

_Why am I never enough? _

By reflex, she made excuses for him. Perhaps he wasn't ready to accept his feelings for her? He was afraid to commit and be in a healthy relationship for once, with a woman who obviously adored him.

_No! _

Her nails bit into her palms as she rested her clenched fists on her thighs. No more excuses, just…no more!

Determination blazed in her eyes, dispelling her forlorn expression. She would feel out his new relationship with this woman before sabotaging it.

Sesshomaru wanted her to befriend his new girlfriend, did he? Wanted them to become close? She could do that. She would integrate herself so tightly into Rin's life, that she would become this faceless woman's confidant, gain her trust, then ultimately ruin this budding romance.

A sneer curled her lips.

As if Sesshomaru actually cared for this woman. He thought Rin special? Ha! She knew Sesshomaru, knew that he was a sexually virile man who was also lonely for female companionship—even though he could have gotten it freely from her!

She shook her head. That didn't matter right now. What mattered was that whatever this relationship was between Sesshomaru and Rin, it could never last, not with Sesshomaru's selfish tendencies. All she had to do—for now—was integrate herself in Rin's life and monitor their progression.

Kagome admitted to a small kernel of fear that pooled in her belly, made her heart clench with added pain. What if this was serious? What if this relationship actually…worked out, and they have their happily ever after together, while she stood on the sidelines, alone?

She shook her head. Impossible. She was over thinking, worrying over nothing. Sesshomaru would do what he had done before, date some girl, sleep with her, then ultimately dump her, and he would come right back to her—and string her along again, she thought dismally.

Depression set in.

When would she admit enough was enough? How many more times was she going to forgive him? Make excuses for him? Turn a blind eye?

She had to face the painful truth she had guessed at two years ago but stubbornly ignored.

She meant absolutely nothing to Sesshomaru, was nothing more than a dalliance while he went from one woman to the next, keeping her selfishly to himself even though he thought of her as something temporary.

How many years had she wasted, pinning after him, while knowing deep down that he would never be hers no matter what he said to the contrary? How many more would she waste if she was correct and this relationship with Rin was nothing serious and didn't last?

How long was his new relationship going to last?

Panic set in.

Was he going to ignore her for months again? Treat her like an afterthought?

She couldn't, wouldn't go through that again!

Seething hatred.

A heart thirsting for retribution, for vengeance against the one to break her heart so utterly.

One o'clock in the afternoon ticked by hours later, and Kagome—more in control of her emotions—dialed the new contact she had saved in her phone.

"Hello?" a feminine voice inquired on the other end of the line.

"Hello, Rin? This is Kagome, Sesshomaru's best friend."

"Oh, right, Kagome! Hi, it's so good to hear from you."

Grimacing at the sickeningly sweet voice, Kagome forced herself to be just as girly and gushy to gain this woman's favor. "I know! When Sesshomaru told me about you this morning, I just _had _to get to know the girl who means so much to him."

"I don't know if I mean _that_ much to Sesshomaru," came Rin's shy reply, and Kagome bet the other woman was blushing, the bitch. "But I like him. I have a good feeling about him. He's special."

Kagome gritted her teeth at hearing that word again and by Rin—special.

"We should meet up and hang out some time. You know, have a girl's night out and get to know each other over drinks? What do you say, girl?"

Kagome couldn't help but sneer at her own girlish speech.

"Of course! I'd love that. And you have to be sure to tell me all about Sesshomaru and how you met."

Kagome heard the underlying question in Rin's voice as she said the last. She would have to tread carefully and not give away any hint of how she and Sesshomaru really were together—at least before this woman came into the picture. She did this not for Sesshomaru, but for her own ends. If this relationship really was or did become something serious, then she needed to be in a position to stop it.

"I'll tell you all about it," Kagome chirped like a moron, but Rin seemed to like her preppy prattle. God, how she hated how women could talk like that, and here she was, mimicking them.

Though normally kind, Kagome could lie like the best of them, could charm just about anyone if she set her mind to it. However, most people thought of her as a sweet, innocent young woman. Probably because of her young appearance and cute visage.

"Hey, I have to let you go now. My lunch break will be over soon and I still haven't sat down to eat anything."

"Yeah, no problem. We'll set up a time later to hang out."

"Sounds good! Bye, Kagome."

"Bye, Rin."

_Click._

Bittersweet agony followed the call.


	3. Double Standards

**Word Count: 1,500**

** Prompt: Fold**

Double Standards

Two months later…

Kagome froze beside the man who lounged next to her, eyes wide, lips parted, unable to hide the shock his words had on her.

"What did you say?" she whispered.

Without looking at her, his amber eyes fixated on the glass of wine he held in one hand with a faraway expression.

"I love her."

At that moment, Kagome found it hard to breathe, her gut tightening as if she had just taken a sucker punch to the stomach. She couldn't speak for long seconds, had to turn away as she forced herself to school her expression. She took a fortifying drink from her own glass.

It wasn't enough.

Her nerves fried, she leaned forward to pick up her pack of small cigars from the coffee table, and snatched one out of the pack as she spoke.

"Are you sure? You hardly know her. I don't want you to jump into anything, Sesshomaru. I would hate to see you hurt, or—God forbid—Rin. I like her. We've become close friends."

She almost scowled when she said that last bit, for though they got along surprisingly well, and Kagome couldn't help but like Rin, the woman hardly ever spoke of her relationship with Sesshomaru even though she had admitted—without going into detail—that she was unhappy sometimes.

Kagome clearly wasn't making enough strides to become Rin's confidant. What was she doing wrong?!

Sesshomaru chuckled. "You're always worrying about me, always been there for me, Kagome; that's why I trust you and you alone so implacably."

Such words coming from him would have made the old Kagome giddy with happiness. Now, they only left bitter regret for a future that had been nothing more than a young girl's fantasy.

Putting the filter to her mouth, Kagome lit her zippo to light her new vice, for she had only started smoking when Rin came into the picture, but Sesshomaru plucked the unlit cigar from her lips.

"Hey! Give that back."

Sesshomaru scowled at her.

"I don't know why you smoke these. They aren't good for you. You know how much I hate smokers."

She knew he was concerned for her health when she started the nasty habit, but she also knew Sesshomaru. If she ever did anything he disliked, he told her, and expected her to obey his decree.

Well, not this time.

"Keep it. I have plenty more," she said nonchalantly, reaching for another, but Sesshomaru got there first, withholding her pack of smokes. His highhandedness made her grit her teeth in suppressed anger.

Huffing, she lunged for her pack, but he held his hand out of reach. Undaunted, she scrambled atop his lap and yanked the pack from him. She smiled down at him victoriously, but then her smile faltered when he wrapped an arm around her waist, pinning her lower body against his lean abdomen.

At her hesitation, he reclaimed her pack, lifted his hips—and because she straddled him—rubbed his crotch against her sex as he stuffed his prize into his back pocket.

A familiar, heated look entered his eyes as he settled back on the couch.

Swallowing hard, Kagome forced a cocky grin. "Do you really think putting that in your back pocket will keep me from digging for it?"

A sexy grin split his lips, making her melt. "Feel free to try, but I am much heavier than you, so I doubt you can get to them while I am sitting on them."

She glared at him, silently conceding that he was right. Angered anew, she growled, "Why does it matter anyway if I smoke or not? I make sure the smoke never filters towards you!"

"I can still smell them, and I hate when you smell like an ashtray. I bet you'd taste like nicotine if I were to kiss you." He grimaced.

Fuming, she said, "So? It's not like you're gonna be kissing me anyway."

"Hn."

Leveling him with a contemplative stare, Kagome evaluated their situation. She was straddling his lap, their clothing the only thing separating his cock from her core, and his arm stayed firmly around her hips.

For the last two months, Kagome had made sure that Sesshomaru remembered his attraction for her by saying provocative things when they were alone, touching him suggestively, and he had always responded. How can he say he loved Rin when he so easily cheated on the woman? Sesshomaru may not actually have sex with her, but what they had done—what they were doing _now_—was still considered cheating.

She had hoped to prove a point to herself and him that though he was fucking another, he still wanted her. Yet _still_ he would not have sex with her. What was wrong with her that he would continue to deny his attraction? Like now, he was hard and ready beneath his dress slacks, but he made no attempt to take what she would—even now—freely offer.

Maddening.

Her actions may seem whorish, but she bloody didn't care! He was hers, and she was his, and sooner or later, she was going to make him understand that.

Trying to push him for further intimacies, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed her bosom against his chest.

"I'll make a deal with you," she purred and saw his eyes light up with interest. "I won't smoke if you kiss me. Since you don't like the taste of nicotine, I'll never light up when you are around, but only if you kiss me, like you need to right now, every time we are alone together."

His gaze lowered to her lips, and she would be a liar if she said she didn't yearn for his kiss, to feel his firm mouth against hers, his tongue delving deep, devouring her. Though aroused by this man she hated, she still loved him, and her conflicting emotions sparked her ire.

Why did she still love him?! Why did she never react to another man, thusly? It wasn't fair!

"You want me even though I am in a relationship? I thought you said you couldn't stand cheaters. What's changed?"

Why did he insist on talking when they both wanted, needed this?

To tempt him further, she gently rocked her jean clad core against his engorged erection, felt him become harder. She felt feminine satisfaction to cause such a reaction from him, that he desired her.

"Because you were mine first. It's different between us. Can you deny it?"

His hand clenched in her hair, pulling her closer until their breaths mixed.

"You are mine, Kagome. You have always—will always—be mine."

Then he pulled her down and crashed her mouth against his, parting her lips with his and delved his tongue inside, and she met his ardor with her own. His kiss was aggressive with desire, hers with pent up frustration and anger that he dared call her his, while giving nothing of himself in return.

His free hand clasped her hip, grinding her sex more strongly against his erection, driving her wild with lust.

It was because she loved him still, so much in fact, that she willingly accepted anything he would offer her. Afterwards, she would feel pathetic, viewing her actions of those of a slut, and she'd hate herself, would blame him, hate him all the more.

He broke the kiss.

_So soon?_ she wondered, dazed.

"Say it," he demanded, his voice rough with lust, panting for breath.

"What?" she asked, not comprehending, meeting his heated gaze with her own.

"Say you're mine, only mine."

Kagome hesitated, not wishing to say the words, so she compromised.

"As you are mine."

He groaned and kissed her chastely, fiercely before pulling back again.

"Don't mistake me. I may be with Rin, but that doesn't mean you can be with another man. No one but I can have you. No one takes what is rightfully mine."

He tried to kiss her again, but fury had her pulling back, struggling against him. She turned her face away, his lips falling to her cheek, and she pushed against his chest, trying to get off him, _away_ from him.

"Let me go!"

He tightened his arms around her waist and back, keeping her pinned against him.

"Kagome—"

"I said, let go, dammit!"

Finally, he did, and she scrambled away, standing a few steps away from him, while she glared daggers at his confused, lust filled gaze.

"How dare you," she whispered furiously. "So it's alright for you to fuck whoever, but _I'm_ not allowed to? That's double standards!"

"That's not what I meant—"

She interrupted him again. "Then what did you mean?"

Instead of answering, he rubbed the back of his neck, looking away from her. "I should leave. I have to get back to the office, anyway."

"Sesshomaru!" she called as he stood, picked up his coat, and strode out of her apartment without a backwards glance.

Kagome's resentment for him grew.


	4. Seed of Doubt

**Word Count: 1,500**

**Prompt: Place your bets**

Seed of Doubt

Two months later…

Ever since Sesshomaru had admitted to having feelings of love for Rin, Kagome had felt dismay, smite, and bitterness, but underlying everything was a sense of utter loss. He had never before, in all the years that she had known him, admitted to such feelings for another, aside from her.

It rankled.

He claimed to love her first, and yet had done nothing to make her his, and now some other girl held sway over his heart—a heart that should've rightly been hers!

She couldn't understand. This whole situation didn't make sense. _He _didn't make sense! Though she knew him so well, at times like this, she thought she knew him not at all.

More than once, she dismally thought perhaps she had never known the real Sesshomaru, because he kept part of himself from her, but that wasn't her fault. For years she had tried to get closer to him. It was he who pushed her away at every turn.

How was he capable of keeping her close yet at arm's length all at the same time?

And _still_ she had found no opening to sever the happy couple apart.

Frustrating!

And yet, getting to know Rin as she did, Kagome felt…bad for trying to tear them apart, for she truly did like the overly girly woman. Though conflicted, Kagome had no intention of being swayed from her course. She could always stay friends with Rin even when—not if—her relationship ended.

Admittedly, his new relationship had only begun four months ago, so the newness had yet to wear off. She had to be patient, bid her time until opportunity came calling, and she never doubted that it would.

Finally, her dastardly wish arrived in the form of a very upset Rin, who sat beside her on her sofa, toying with her diet coke. They had scheduled to watch a chick-flick and consume buttered popcorn tonight, but Rin had called and confessed to being too upset to come over.

Sensing friction between Rin and Sesshomaru, Kagome convinced the other woman to come to her place anyway, saying a little girl time would help, and Rin agreed.

Feeling impatient—almost giddy—to learn what was the problem, Kagome said, "You seem upset, Rin."

"I am," Rin admitted. "It's just, Sesshomaru makes me _so_ mad sometimes!"

Feigning surprise, Kagome said, "What a coincidence, I'm pissed at him to. Want to talk about it?"

Rin shrugged. "Not really. Just another broken promise, is all. What about you? Why are you angry with him?"

Kagome knew Rin was hesitant to speak badly of Sesshomaru. Knowledgeable in Sesshomaru's ways, she knew instinctively he was falling back into old habits, and though she figured his natural selfish tendencies would ruin his relationship without her help, she wanted it over already.

Knowing just how to manipulate this conversation, Kagome exaggerated a rough exhale of irritation. "The same, truthfully. Don't get me wrong. I love Sesshomaru like a brother, but it angers me how he can act so sincere when he makes a promise yet breaks them so carelessly. And he dares get angry at us for being upset!"

Kagome stifled a twinge of guilt after speaking, knowing she was only hurting Rin more. She was innocent in this hidden vendetta she had against Sesshomaru.

"I know! It pisses me off. I'm his girlfriend, yet he treats me like crap, more times than I can count."

_How well I understand_, Kagome thought, sympathetically.

And like that, Rin opened up to her like never before.

"He promises to share my lunch break with me, wanting to take me out to eat, but then he tells me he can't make it. Or when he says he'll make time for me in his busy schedule as if I'm nothing but an afterthought! He's such a jerk!"

Gazing at Rin with sympathy, Kagome said, "I hear yeah, girl. Truthfully, though I hate to speak badly about your boyfriend…" she pretended to hesitate, continuing her manipulation, but her conflicted expression was real.

As hoped, Rin encouraged her to continue by saying, "Don't worry. I won't tell him you said anything, now spill."

Offering a small smile of gratitude, Kagome said, "Sesshomaru's always had trouble keeping his word. He has this horrible tendency to think that not every promise matters, that it's okay to break the small ones. Or at least what he thinks are small." Almost as an afterthought, Kagome added, "Though he has been known to break his word for the important stuff, too. Don't tell him I told you this, but when I graduated from college with my nursing degree, he promised to be there for my big day, and he never showed! Never called to cancel or send word of any kind. That hurt a lot, especially when I later found out he was too busy fucking some bimbo."

"That bastard!" gasped Rin with sympathetic eyes.

Turning her head to the side, feigning hurt feelings, Kagome shrugged. "It was a while ago." Then she turned a concerned look on Rin. "I had thought he would treat you better since he obviously loves you, but, I'm sorry to say, you can't always rely on Sesshomaru. His wants come before anyone else's."

Kagome saw Rin choke back tears and felt ashamed for being the one to cause that expression. Then Rin admitted with a catch to her voice, "His parents don't even know about me—us. I just found that out today."

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," Kagome murmured, reaching out to put a comforting hand on Rin's shoulder.

"He said his mother wouldn't approve, and that his father would be disappointed if he knew Sesshomaru was with his _secretary_," cried Rin, tears flowing down her cheeks.

Rin's obvious pain affected Kagome, made her feel true remorse for the young woman.

As she drew Rin into her arms, and stroked her hair soothingly, murmuring nonsense in her ear, Kagome felt protective of her, wanting nothing more than to ease some of her pain. Kagome also felt a new determination. She not only wanted to separate this couple for her own selfish, vindictive agenda, but to free this girl from a relationship that was obviously causing her much misery.

Long minutes later with Rin's cries filling the silent apartment, the woman finally lifted her wet, tearstained face to look up at Kagome with a sorrowful expression.

"What should I do? I can't take much more of this. It hurts too much."

Leaning down to grab a napkin from the coffee table, Kagome wiped the tears from Rin's face in a tender gesture, not just because she cared for her, but to manipulate Rin's emotions, to make the woman feel a closeness between them, binding them together. Kagome hoped this bond would prove stronger than the one Rin shared with Sesshomaru.

Kagome knew that every word, every gesture—no matter how small—impacted another, and she needed Rin to think of her as her most dearest friend.

Her manipulations her beginning to sicken her.

"Do you love him?"

"Oh, yes!"

"Then you must bear it," began Kagome, once again hugging Rin, and the woman sank into her embrace readily. "Because Sesshomaru will never change. I've known him for years, and he's never compromised, never changed how he acts, but expects everyone around him to do what he says."

"I can't live like that!"

Forcing Rin to meet her gaze, Kagome told her gravely, "Then you understand that love isn't always enough?"

Rin's lower lip wobbled, but she nodded her head. "Yes."

To make sure she truly understood, Kagome reiterated, "I'm sorry if my words are cruel, Rin, but I doubt Sesshomaru will change, and he will only continue to hurt you should you stay with him."

"You mean I should leave him?"

"Only if that's what you want."

The next day, Sesshomaru called, upset.

"I think I fucked up again," he growled.

Having a guess at what he was referring too, Kagome, however, played dumb. "Oh? What did you do this time, Sesshomaru?"

She heard a rough exhalation on the other end of the line. "Rin and I had a fight. Basically, she doesn't think I'm there for her enough, that my word means nothing, and that I don't actually care about her since I continue to hurt her feelings."

"Oh, Sesshomaru…" Kagome said with a sigh.

"How can she say that when I obviously love her so much?!" he exclaimed roughly, and Kagome hated the emotion she heard in his voice, for it signified that he meant what he was saying.

His heart was no longer hers alone and that hurt.

"I'm so sorry, Sesshomaru. I wish I knew how to help you. I hate that you are sad and upset," she said with false sympathy. "What are you going to do?"

Another sigh from Sesshomaru. "She gave me one more chance to prove myself."

Almost three weeks later, Sesshomaru called again.

"She broke up with me."


	5. Rebound

**Word Count: 1,500**

** Prompt: Raise**

Rebound

In the two days that followed, Kagome didn't hear much from either Rin or Sesshomaru, leaving her in an agony of fearful suspense. Had Rin told Sesshomaru the details of their girl talk? If so, was Sesshomaru stewing in anger at her betrayal?

Finally, on the second day of nonstop worry, Sesshomaru briefly called, asking if he could come over later to talk, and she agreed. Afterwards, Kagome's worry escalated. He had not sounded happy, and she feared she had been found out.

The hours ticked by agonizingly slow as afternoon finally darkened to evening, and late that night, Sesshomaru knocked on her door.

As he stood before her, it was obvious he was trying to suppress his emotions, and Kagome feared it was anger—directed towards her.

"Do you want something to drink, Sesshomaru? I've got—"

"No, thank you," he interrupted, pacing her living room with long, agitated strides, his emotions slowly revealing themselves.

Standing near the coffee table, trying not to fidget, she asked worriedly, "What's going on, Sesshomaru? You're worrying me."

He stopped near the far wall and looked at her with an emotion she couldn't name. He opened his mouth then closed it, before finally whispering in a hoarse voice, "She quit."

"I don't understand," she murmured, taking a hesitant step towards him.

"Rin quit!" he said louder, more roughly. Eyes blazing with what she now knew to be pain and sorrow, he continued. "She couldn't even give two weeks' notice, claiming it was too painful to be near me any longer."

Why did his tortured, amber gaze affect her so? Cause her heart to clench in shared pain even though she hated him so much?

"Sesshomaru—" she whispered, moving towards him.

He didn't seem to hear her as he looked away and shoved his hands though his silver locks. "I tried to tell her she was overreacting, but that only seemed to make things worse! You know as well as I do that to quit without notice looks bad on a resume, so what was I supposed to do? Let her struggle to find new employment? So I helped her, gave her a reference to one of my associates, and now she is working for another company. My willingness to let her go and help her after her rash decision proves my feelings for her, but she said 'sometimes love isn't enough'."

He choked on the last, and Kagome stiffened when she saw tears in his eyes. Then he whirled around and punched her wall with a sickening crack.

"Sesshomaru!" Kagome cried, running over to him, fearful that he had hurt himself, possibly broken bone. Grabbing his elbow, she pulled on his arm, forcing him to turn around to face her. She took his bruised hand in both of hers and inspected him for further injuries. "Dammit, Sesshomaru. You shouldn't hurt yourself like that. What if you broke something?"

He clinched his fist in her hands, proving that that wasn't the case. "I'm fine."

Looking up at him with real worry, even though part of her gloried in his obvious heartache, she corrected, "No, you're not. I can see it in your eyes."

She wasn't referring to his bruised knuckles, both knew.

He blinked quickly. Her heart panged painfully in her chest, but in a dark corner of her mind she silently asked him, _How does it feel to have your heart ripped out of your chest, Sesshomaru?_

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his back, offering comfort.

When he tightly hugged her to his trembling body, Kagome's anger notched higher at his show of emotion. She couldn't believe he was this distraught over losing Rin, when he had given _her _up so easily. At the thought, all her sympathy for his pain vanished, and in its place, seething fury, a thirst for revenge.

Oh, she'd comfort him alright, say and do all the right things, but also dig the knife deeper into his black heart.

"Shshsh, you're not alone, Sesshomaru. I'll always be here for you. I know you don't like giving into your emotions, but it's alright to be sad, to feel hurt. It's alright. No one's here to see you break down. Only me, your best friend."

He held her all the tighter, making it hard for her to breathe, but she didn't protest. She felt him bury his face in her hair, his gruff voice at her ear. "My God, you're always there for me, even after how I've treated you. You're still here."

He grabbed her shoulders, forced her to lean back and meet his wet eyes, a stark desperation in the gaze he bored into hers. "Don't ever leave me. Please. I couldn't take it if you ever left me, too."

With a serious, grave expression, she reached up to cup his once beloved face in her hands, meeting his stare without flinching. "I'll always be here for you, my love. I'm not going anywhere."

She wanted this, needed him to be so emotionally attached to her, that when she finally said enough was enough, she would turn her back on him, leaving him alone, without a friend he felt as close to as he did with her at this moment.

When he cupped her cheek tenderly, saw the deep emotion in his eyes, she knew she had him. It was only a matter of time to pick the right moment to shatter his heart completely at her abandonment. However, now was not that moment. There was still a small chance that he and Rin would get back together and try to work out their differences, for a love as strong as what she now understood the broken couple felt for each other, one reconciliation could bring them back together, and possibly forge a stronger bond between them. Kagome couldn't allow that to happen.

She would be damned before he found happiness again.

"Kagome," he murmured in that voice she knew too well, interpreted the need in his eyes easily.

She didn't stop him when he leaned down and brushed his lips over hers in a tender kiss, but soon his mouth pressed harder against hers, silently demanding she open her mouth, and she did. She couldn't seem to help herself at that moment, as always, yearning for his kiss.

_You're pathetic, Kagome_, she told herself, but she ignored the censorious thought.

He caressed her cheek while their tongues rubbed together before he clasped his hand behind her neck, making sure she couldn't break the kiss—not that she wanted to. His wet tongue instantly ignited the fire of her passions, making her heart race, and her body tremble with sexual need.

His other hand tightly clasping over her hip, he forced her to walk backwards, and she followed his lead without thought, distracted by his wicked tongue, and rock hard body pressed intimately against hers.

She gave a surprised '_eep_' when he lifted her into his arms, her own wrapping around his neck instantly. The kiss broken, their breaths mingling, he placed her flat on her back on her sofa, before forcing his knee between her thighs, making room for himself between them.

Coming out of her lust induced haze, Kagome lowered her hands to his chest, staying him when he tried to lean towards her.

"Sesshomaru…" she said uncertainly.

"Don't stop me, Kagome," he said in a rough voice, his hands already pulling up her shirt, before roughly yanking it over her head.

Thinking he only wanted to fool around as he had done countless times in the past, she allowed him to remove her bra, and cup her breasts in his hands. And yet, in the back of her mind she wondered, _Will he stop as he had all the other times?_

Thought fled when he bent down to suckle her nipple, and her arms circled his head as she arched towards his mouth with a harsh gasp of pleasure.

Before she could lose herself in pleasure, hands moved to the waistband of her jeans, unsnapping the button, and dragging the zipper down.

Reality set in as she realized that he might not stop himself this time.

"Stop, Sesshomaru!"

He didn't. Instead, he yanked her jeans down to her thighs.

She pushed against him, twisted and turned to get away from him as her jeans lowered to her knees. "No!"

Finally he stopped with a loud '_ow_' after she viciously pulled his hair.

"I need you," he said gruffly, meeting her gaze with desperate eyes.

Angered at his gale, she forced herself to calmly say, "Not like this. Don't use me because you're hurting over Rin. It's not fair to me."

A pained expression passed over his face before he groaned and collapsed atop her, digging his arms beneath her to hold her close, burying his face in her hair again.

"You're right. I'm so sorry. But…just…hold me a little longer."

She silently wrapped her arms around his back in answer.


	6. Hollow Victory

**Word Count: 1,500**

**Prompt: Royal Flush**

Hollow Victory

"Meet me outside. I have a surprise for you."

Blinking in bewilderment, Kagome asked, "Sesshomaru?"

He chuckled. "Just do it."

_Click. _

Gazing down at her cell phone with a small frown on her face, Kagome turned to her coworker Sango.

"Hey, Sango? I'm sorry, but I can't ride the train with you today. A friend is picking me up."

"Yeah, no problem, Kagome," smiled Sango. "It's not like I'll be alone. Miroku will be with me. See you tomorrow!"

"Yeah, later." Seeing Miroku walking towards them with a huge grin on his face, Kagome waved. "I'll be leaving ahead of you two. Bye!"

"Abandoned by a beautiful woman," sighed Miroku in a teasing manner, to which Sango elbowed him in the stomach, scowling.

Laughing, Kagome adjusted her pack that held her scrubs, and jogged out of the hospital, searching for Sesshomaru's white Audi.

A horn sounded, drawing her attention.

Sesshomaru stepped out of his car as she walked towards him. They met at the passenger door where he opened it for her. Surprised by his show of courtesy, she sat, and buckled up. When she looked up, he was so close, their noses almost touched. A flush rose on her face.

Then he gave her the tenderest of kisses, stealing her breath, and making her feel long dormant affection for him. Then he smiled knowingly, breaking her befuddlement. She scowled as he shut her door and waited for him to get in his own seat.

"What's with the surprise visit? Don't you have work left to do at the office?" she grouched, irritated that he could still affect her emotions, almost making her forget how much she hated him.

He smiled over at her before watching the road once more as he pulled out of the hospital parking lot. "My, someone's moody. Bad day at work?"

Tamping down her ire, she muttered, "I'm fine."

Thankful he didn't persist on that line of questioning, he said, "I took the rest of the day off. My new secretary and underlings can handle the leg work for now. Today, I thought you'd like to have dinner with me."

Kagome looked at him with wide, surprised eyes. _He left work early for me? He's never done that before._

Then she frowned, gazing at her wrist watch. "Its too early for dinner."

"Look in the back seat."

Peering over her shoulder, she saw grocery bags. Not understanding, she said slowly, "Okay?"

Chuckling, he said, "We're going to my place where I'll be grilling steak, baking potatoes, and tossing up a salad. And you're not to help. You can keep me company while I prepare everything."

To say Kagome was shocked would have been an understatement. Sesshomaru hardly ever allowed her to visit his place, not wanting his parents to find out about her and her connection to their son. Also, it was rare for him to cook a meal, even though he was capable of performing such a menial task. He usually had his house keeper take care of such things.

"What's the occasion?" Kagome asked, suspiciously. _Why was he being so nice?_

"I've been thinking a lot in the past few weeks after Rin had left. We'll discuss it after dinner."

Kagome wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing as they sat quietly for the rest of the trip to Sesshomaru's pent house.

Two hours later…

Sitting opposite Sesshomaru at his long dining table, they passed the well cooked meal in idle banter, talking about nothing important, and all the while Kagome wondered what he had to tell her. He was acting strange, being oddly attentive, courteous, and flirtatious. She had never seen this side of him before, even when he had been stringing her along. Those times he had been sexually provocative. Now he was being…charming.

Finally, they finished and took their wine glasses to the living room, where they sat on one of his white, leather sofas. He sat close, too close. His thigh against hers, an arm around her shoulders as they sipped wine.

Clearing her throat, Kagome asked, "What's all of this about, Sesshomaru?"

"Yes, it's about time I told you," he said, his words ominous to Kagome.

She was made more nervous when he took her glass and set both of them on a small stand near his side of the sofa before turning back to her, and took her hands in his own.

Her heart beat a mile a minute. From nerves? His closeness? Perhaps, a little of both.

"Tell me," she implored almost in a whisper, meeting his amber gaze, seeing so much reflected there, not understanding.

"I never understood how much you really meant to me until recently," he began, startling her. "You have always been there for me, Kagome, even when it was probably better if you had turned your back on me. I've done so many horrible things to you in my selfishness."

Kagome couldn't speak, emotion clogging her throat.

"I've strung you along," he murmured with pain in his eyes. "I've kept you near yet pushed you aside all at the same time. I pushed you into another man's arms because I felt guilty that I was in a relationship, hiding it from you. With her, I had felt the same thing I had forced upon you time and time again. Betrayal. After it ended, I could not bear to look at myself in the mirror, couldn't go to you and apologize for all that I had done, acting the coward. I felt unworthy, that I did not deserve your forgiveness. I told myself to let you go, to leave, but I couldn't. Selfishly, I kept you by my side, for you are the only good thing in my life.

"Then I failed you again by running into yet another's arms, to Rin. Though I do love her, I had acted the coward yet again—running from my feelings for you, believing myself unworthy—I could never forget you, or stand the thought of you being with another man even if he could give you what I could not.

"I don't ask you to forgive me but look past all my faults if you can and give me a chance to prove to you that I am not the man you think me to be. I can change. I will be better, for you, love."

Kagome barely breathed during his confession, her heart bleeding, for these were the words she had always wished to hear—a confession of true feelings for her—and yet…they broke her heart, cutting into her like shards of glass. For it was too late, much too late.

But it wasn't enough. He spoke in insinuations. Just to be clear, absolutely clear on what he was saying to her, she asked, "What chance do you speak of when you say you wish to prove yourself? Why do you wish to change for me? What do you want from me?"

Tenderly, he cupped her right cheek in the palm of his hand and leaned down to lay his forehead gently against her own. She closed her eyes. This moment almost too much for her to bear. Her emotions were warring inside her. Love against hate, spite against hope.

"I never want to go another day without you in my life. I realize now that you are precious to me."

He cupped her face in his hands, kept his forehead against her own before commanding gently but with such emotion, his voice was rough. "Look at me."

She shook her head. She didn't want to hear this from him. She yearned to hear it.

"Look at me, Kagome. I have to see your eyes when I say this next part."

Taking a deep breath meant to fortify her nerves but failed completely, she did, and what she saw in his eyes rocked her.

"I love you. I know I have said so countless times before, but this time is different. This time, I will hold nothing back. I wish for you to live with me here, spend every waking moment I'm not in the office with you, and fall asleep with you in my arms, your scent surrounding me. I want everyone, all our friends, coworkers, and our parents—yes, even mine—to know that we are together. I love you, Kagome. Please tell me you love me, too."

Gazing into his eyes, tears in her own, obscuring his face, she tried to blink them away, but they slid unheeded down her face. Sesshomaru wiped them away with his thumbs, a tortured expression clear to see upon his face.

"Don't cry, my love. Why are you crying?"

And like that, Kagome knew she had finally won his heart. She could either forgive and forget his past actions, or continue with the next phase of her ultimate revenge.

To make him suffer what she had suffered for years by his own hands.

A heart filled with dismay and loss.


	7. Conflicted Desire

**Word Count: 1,500**

**Prompt: Wild Card**

Conflicted Desire

One month later…

Perhaps she was a fool.

Since Sesshomaru's heartfelt confession, he had been everything an exceptional boyfriend could be, and yet…she was unhappy. He was finally treating her the way she had always longed to be, but she was not content. Every time he did something considerate, she wondered, how long was this _new _Sesshomaru going to last?

What if he reverted back to his old ways and took her for granted? How could she bear it after his show of genuine affection this past month? She couldn't. Should he revert back, devastation would be too mild a word for what she would feel.

Along with her fear, there was bitterness. So much that it was eating her alive, eroding away her mind and tearing apart her emotions. Finally, Sesshomaru treated her like a treasured girlfriend, and yet, instead of feeling overjoyed, bitterness infested her heart like a toxic disease.

Why had she been forced to wait this long, go through so much, to finally have what her heart desired? This heart that beat in her chest, after years of endured agony, was no longer the same.

It was corrupt.

Was she ever going to regain that pure love she once felt for this man who had once been everything to her?

She was conflicted. Should she try to make this relationship work or exact her bloodthirsty revenge?

That night…

"Why haven't you moved in with me yet, Kagome?"

Kagome forced herself to meet the confusion and pain in Sesshomaru's eyes. She had wanted to see such agony reflected there for months, and though—surprisingly—it was hard to witness, she did not look away. Her punishment, for if she choose to stay with him, this would be her penitence.

However, bitterness—as it did more often than not—held sway over all else. If she could not conquer this noxious demon, then this relationship would never be able to move on and blossom.

Did she even want it to?

"It's too soon," she whispered, tears in her eyes. "After everything you've put me through…how do I know this will last?"

A fierce expression centered in his gaze as he seized her in a tight embrace, palming the back of her head. "I will spend the rest of my life proving otherwise if need be. You are mine, Kagome."

He kissed her, the salt of her tears mixed with the heady taste that was all Sesshomaru. This was no gentle exploration, but possession.

Then he was picking her up and marching towards his room. When she tried to break the kiss, he followed, sealing their mouths together again.

Next thing she knew, he was settling her on his bed, and following her down, pinning her much smaller frame to the mattress. Yes, they had been in this bed before—cuddling—but they had not had sex yet. Kagome had been oddly reluctant. Now that he was hers, she feared that if she gave her body to Sesshomaru, things would change. She would become a love sick puppy again, while he got what he wanted and started ignoring her again.

Right now, Sesshomaru was trying to prove that he had changed, and if she gave in—had sex with him—he might view that he had won her heart and everything was fine, and revert back to his old ways, taking advantage of her love again, believing she would never leave him.

Also, in the back of her mind, she was angry, so very angry. _Now_ he wanted to make love to her. Now that _he _wanted something more. Why had she been forced to wait and wait for that which she desired, and yet he didn't have to? Because he wanted, he thought he should have.

Would her bitterness grow if she allowed him inside her body, or would love prevail?

She was done hiding from the answer, so she didn't stop him when his hands burrowed under her shirt, his large hands bypassing her lacy bra to cup her naked breasts in his palms.

She moaned, arching her back into his touch, seeking more. If nothing else, they had this, physical attraction—lust. It could never be enough, but she allowed herself to act upon her passion and wrapped her arms around his muscular back.

Wanting to feel skin, she dragged his shirt up in back and dug her fingers into his shoulder blades.

When he rolled her nipples with his thumbs, she moved restlessly beneath him, felt how her nubs hardened in obvious enjoyment. Then he was pinching them, causing her to gasp and try to get closer to those wicked hands.

He chuckled darkly. "Like that, do you?"

"More," she moaned, tugging on his shirt.

Taking the hint, he released her and shrugged it off before reaching down and dragging her own off. Her bra came next. She watched him with half-lidded eyes as he molded his hand around the bottom of one breast and took the nipple into his moist mouth, suckling strongly, while fondling the other.

Electricity flashed through her sensitive buds, and she curled her arm around the back of his head, keeping his mouth on her breast, silently encouraging him to continue, not to stop this delicious torture.

He bit her.

Not hard, but a sting of pain had her crying out as the pleasure sharpened, sending shockwaves straight to her wet core.

"Do that again!" she cried.

And he did, harder this time, but she loved it. The pleasurable pain was just what she needed, craved.

He moved on to the other breast, lavishing the nipple with his silken tongue before biting her, driving her wild.

He was straddling her, and she arched her hips, bucking into his groin, unable to control the helpless movement, as well as her cries in his ear.

"You move so beautifully, Kagome, make the most erotic sounds," Sesshomaru murmured sinfully when he moved his lips to her ear. He bit her lobe. She gave a sharp moan of delight.

"Very responsive," he whispered, trailing his lips to her neck.

Her hands were between them as she explored the expanse of his wide chest, thumbing his nipples, scratching them with her nails. He groaned. She did it again.

He ground his erection against her pubic bone.

"Feel what you do to me?" he rasped, thrusting against her in small shallow strokes.

She thrashed her head against his pillow, and clung to him, pressing her body along his.

"Please, Sesshomaru!"

As if knowing how fiercely she ached, his hands were on her jeans, releasing the snap and lowering the zipper; he yanked them down, all the way off. Her hands flew to his pants then. He helped her take them off him, but he stopped her before she could remove his boxers.

"Not yet," he whispered gruffly.

Before she could object, he was removing her panties, slowly.

Her breath hitched in her throat when she was finally bare before him. She didn't stop him, could only watch—transfixed, as he spread her thighs, and settled between them.

He pet her, stroked his fingers through the moisture her core wept for him.

Then he gazed up at her with a fierce expression. "This is mine," he growled roughly, cupping her sex possessively. "Say it."

At that moment, she would say just about anything for him to continue.

"Yes! Yours. Please…" she whimpered, arching her hips, needing him to assuage the ache he had coaxed within her.

His smile was all teeth, feral, primal with desire.

He pushed a finger inside her.

She moaned.

He groaned. "So wet and tight."

He pressed another finger inside her, scissoring them outward. She trembled, her nails digging into his biceps as the waves of pleasure rose higher.

"Need to make you wetter," he muttered.

He bent his fingers towards himself, rubbing along the upper wall of her vagina, seeking, searching.

She cried out, loudly.

"There?" he smiled wickedly when he found her pleasure spot.

He stroked her almost to the brink of orgasm before he removed his fingers.

She moaned pitifully, needing release.

"Need to be inside you," he rasped, shucking off his boxers, and settling between her thighs once more.

He guided his long length to her weeping core, and shuddered when her cream bathed the head of his cock.

Kagome eyed his length with some dismay. He was huge. _Would he fit?_

As if reading her mind, he reassured her in a gruff voice, "We'll fit. Relax."

His hissed the last word as he pushed against her opening, the head gaining entrance, before thrusting powerfully, sheathing himself in one hard lunge.

The pleasurable pain of his entrance caused Kagome to scream as her release finally shattered her. She clawed at his back, writhed beneath him uncontrollably, as her inner walls spasmed around his shaft.

"I'm all you need. Believe in me, my love!" he whispered thickly against her neck as he claimed her as his, body, heart, and soul.


	8. Highhanded Decision

**Word Count: 1,500**

** Prompt: Showdown**

Highhanded Decision

That night, after Sesshomaru had made love to her a few more times, he finally allowed her to rest and fell asleep beside her. He curled around her naked form from behind, just as nude as she. Spooning her, he rested with his face in her hair, his arms wrapped snuggly around her waist with one palm cupping her breast. His legs were bent, forcing her legs up, basically bending her in half, which was not all that comfortable if she were to be honest. There was no space between his chest and her back. Even his hips were pressed firmly against hers, his soft shaft snuggled at the base of her spine, her ass cushioned by his muscular thighs.

They were cuddling as they had done numerous times before, but never had they been without clothing, so this was a new experience for Kagome.

She should feel safe, cherished, even loved, in this position with a man who professed to love her.

Actually, she should be tired after the evening they had shared, learning each other's bodies, finding every erotic spot there was to find.

This was what she had been yearning for, to know Sesshomaru intimately, to express her love in the most primal way possible.

And yet she felt empty.

Where was the love she used to feel whenever she thought about this man?

The bitterness she had recently harbored for so long?

How could she decide whether or not she would stay with him or leave him a broken mess if she felt nothing at all?

Why could she not sleep?

The next morning…

Kagome had lain awake last night, unable to sleep. Though she had been tired, her mind strangely blank, sleep would not come. She had been cocooned in Sesshomaru's warm embrace, but she had found no comfort there, no answers for the dilemma she was faced with.

Before her alarm sounded at 6:00 a.m., she had turned it off. Though today was her day off of work, she hardly ever allowed herself to sleep in, knowing her whole sleeping schedule would be fucked up if she dared.

Sesshomaru was still asleep. Their positions had changed a while ago. Now he lay on his back, the blanket barely covering his junk. One leg was stretched out beneath the covers while the other was bent, peeking out from under the covers. One arm was thrown over his head, bent at the elbow, while the other was curled around her waist, keeping her close to him even in sleep, as if he feared she would leave.

She had passively lain on his chest, her cheek over his heart, the strong, slow, steady beat beneath her ear. One of her legs was thrown over his hips, her thigh gently pressed against his sac, while one hand rested on his chiseled abs.

She had watched him sleep, took in his physical perfection, and felt nothing.

At 6:00 a.m., she gently disengaged from his loose embrace. She hoped she would not wake him as she painstakingly shifted away from his comatose form, and finally off the mattress.

She took a step away from the bed after watching him for any signs of wakefulness for a few seconds when she felt it.

Warm liquid slid down her thighs in thick streams.

Frowning, wondering if she had started her period early, she reached down and gently dabbed at the wetness before bringing her fingers to her face for inspection.

Not blood.

The sticky substance that coated her fingers was white, filmy.

Sesshomaru's seed.

She gazed at his ejaculation in stunned silence, her mind finally dragging up a semblance of coherent thought.

She wasn't on any kind of birth control.

She hadn't felt the need as she had been indecisive whether or not she would take the next step with Sesshomaru sexually. If she was truthful, she would admit that she had been a coward. Not knowing what choice to make, she had put it off, thinking if she didn't take the pill or any other form of birth control for women, then the choice really wasn't hers.

They hadn't used a condom.

She knew Sesshomaru did not use them if he didn't have to, if he knew the women he was sleeping with were on the pill. He knew that she was not taking any. She figured she would have been safe from his advances, from both of their desire, since the possibility of her becoming pregnant was high.

What had she done?

What had he done?

8:45 a.m….

Kagome saw Sesshomaru walk into the living room where she was smoking one of her small cigars. He had pulled on a pair of jeans, unsnapped, his chest and feet bare. He smiled when he saw her, then scowled when he noted what she was doing.

"Why are you smoking? I thought you quit?"

"I guess not."

He heaved a sigh and walked towards her, bent down with one hand on the back of the sofa, and kissed her, chastely.

Then he leaned back.

"If it means so much to you, I suppose I can get used to it, but try not to go overboard, please."

Kagome made no comment to his uncustomary show of compromise. In truth, she was unmoved, dark thoughts slithering around her mind.

"Have you made coffee? Never mind. I can smell it. Be right back."

He left and returned a few minutes later with a steaming cup of coffee in hand. Her own sat abandoned on the small table beside her.

He sat close to her, valiantly trying to ignore the smell of vanilla and smoke.

"You didn't have to leave the bed," he murmured to her, leaning in to nibble at her neck.

Ignoring the instant flare of excitement she felt from his attentions, she leaned away, took a deep puff of her cigar, and blew out a stream of smoke.

"Actually, I did. We need to talk."

He sat his cup aside before putting his hands on her. "Can't it wait?" he murmured against her neck as his hands travelled to her stomach, edging under the shirt she had put on earlier.

"You shouldn't have gotten dressed," Sesshomaru told her, his hands drifting higher. "You should've known last night wouldn't have been enough."

He cupped her breasts.

She asked, "I might have gotten pregnant."

He went still against her.

"I'm not on birth control, remember? And you didn't use a condom, not once. I didn't notice the lack until this morning when I got out of bed and your semen slid down my thighs."

He gave a husky groan. Not the reaction she thought he would make.

"I would've loved to see my seed sliding from your pussy. You're mine, Kagome."

He kissed her neck and started fondling her breasts.

She wasn't in the mood, didn't want him to arouse her and make her forget the answers she sought. Instead of fighting with a lit cigar in hand, she took a puff even as her nipples hardened beneath his skillful touch, and blew smoke against his ear, the smoke scrawling across his face, though she couldn't see it.

Sesshomaru jerked back with a cough, his hands leaving her breasts to wave one in front of his face, dispelling the smoke. He was scowling at her.

"Dammit, Kagome! What the hell was that for?"

Ignoring his question, she met his angry gaze without flinching.

"Did you forget that I wasn't on birth control in the heat of the moment?"

"What?" he asked, obviously baffled by her question.

"Did you purposefully spill your seed inside me, knowing I could get pregnant? Or was it an accident; and don't lie."

The anger left his expression, his face oddly composed as if he were trying to hide something. Before he even spoke, she had her answer.

"Kagome, I have already decided that what we have is something special. I love you. I want to be with you always."

She watched as he slid off the sofa, knelt before her. She allowed him to take her cigar out of her hand. It was almost at the end of the filter, anyway. He snuffed out the embers in the small bowl she was using as an ash tray before taking her hands in his, their eyes locked.

"This was not the way I had imagined proposing to you. I had plans of taking you out to dinner tonight and asking you there, in a more romantic setting, but now is as good a time as any, I suppose," he said with a smile.

"Kagome, would you do me the honor of making me the happiest man alive by becoming my wife?"

She should be crying, happy that Sesshomaru was asking her to marry him. Instead, the emptiness she had felt all night after their lovemaking, the numbness that had suffused her entire being upon realizing that she could be pregnant, vanished.

In its place, a seething demon of bitter anger awakened.


	9. Forgive Me

Word Count: 1,500

Prompt: Call

Forgive Me

This was the last straw. If Kagome had doubts before about her decision, she no longer did.

"Get up," she commanded coldly, her anger like ice.

Without waiting for him to react, she surged to her feet, her quick upwards motion planting Sesshomaru's face against her groin, but she didn't care. Jerking her hands from his, she stalked away from him, almost knocking him over.

Sesshomaru scrambled to his feet, his eyes wide with surprise.

"Kagome, what's wrong?"

She could see his bafflement and confusion at her actions after his _heartfelt_ proposal and it only pissed her off more.

"What's wrong? _What's wrong!?_ You! You're the problem."

His expression turned wary. "I just asked you to marry me. I don't see why you would be angry. Do you…do you not wish to marry me?"

He spoke as if the very thought was ridiculous.

"This might come as a surprise to you, but no, I don't. As if I'd have you for my husband."

Her sneer instantly put an angered look on his face. "And what, pray tell, is so wrong with me that you would decline? Have I not shown you these past months how much I care, no, how much I _love_ you?"

"Yah, well your_ love_ came a little too late, Sesshomaru."

Think, Kagome! Stop reacting on pure emotion and think! She knew him. If she became 'irrational' as he liked to call her bouts of strong emotion—not matter how deserving her reaction was—he would make her feel the bad guy and he the hapless innocent.

_Well not this time._

"Listen here—" began Sesshomaru, scowling at her, but she interrupted him.

"No, you listen!" Doing her best to regain her composure, she forced a wounded look to suffuse her expression, forced her body to relax, her shoulders to drop in a dejected manner. "How could you?" she whispered, producing tears to make her eyes look glassy.

She saw him stiffen at her change of expression, saw his anger evaporate and a contrite look take over.

He took a step towards her, the need to comfort her clear in his honeyed eyes, in his soothing tone.

"Kagome, please, don't cry?"

He tried to pull her in his arms but she stumbled back, away from him and held up a restraining hand as the first tear fell down her cheek. Her voice wobbled when she spoke, thank God.

"Why do you keep doing this to me? Why do you keep hurting me? What did I ever do to you to deserve this treatment?"

"Kagome, I don't know what you're talking about," he said in confusion.

She shook her head.

"You took my choice, made another decision for me without even consulting me."

"Again? Speak plainly, love. I'm trying to understand you, I really am, but you speak in riddles."

"You tried to get me pregnant without even asking me if it was something I wanted."

Surprise filtered across his face, then guilt. Blustering, he said, "But you said you wanted children."

"Not right _now_," she contradicted. "I may want kids someday, but we never talked about having any together, didn't sit down to discuss the possibility. You took that away from me by making a huge decision that should have been both of ours."

He held up his hands defensively at her heated words. "Okay, okay! I understand what I did was probably not well-thought out of me, and I'm sure you're not pregnant, so don't worry."

"You don't _know_ that!"

Looking at her as if she were the villain, he said stiffly, "I promise never to make a decision without you. Whenever something comes up, I'll always ask for your permission."

The gall! How dare he make it sound like he needed to hold her hand for every little thing? Treating her like the one in the wrong?

Regaining control over herself once more, she dropped her gaze and looked away from him, appearing vulnerable and unhappy.

"I can't do this, Sesshomaru."

"What do you mean?"

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around her middle, a sob catching in her throat, audibly.

"You always do this," she whispered in a tortured whisper. "Every time I think you and I are okay, you do something without regards to my feelings."

"That's not true," he defended himself. "I've always thought about your feelings. Hell, you're the most important person in the world to me. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, you know that."

"And yet, over the years, your actions prove otherwise." She lifted her eyes to nail him with a gaze full of heartfelt agony, of pain immeasurable. Though she was purposefully trying to pull at his heartstrings, to make him feel guilty, like the lowest piece of scum, she hurt. Memories of his bastardly treatment against her over the years came spilling out of her mouth, her voice full of the pain she had felt for so long but kept hidden.

"How can you say you would never intentionally hurt me when you have over and over again? Have you forgotten all the years you've strung me along, made me feel affection and love for you while giving me nothing of your heart in return? You couldn't even make time for me. You could go days, weeks, months, without attempting to make any kind of contact with me. Even you—in your busy schedule—have time to pick up the phone and call for five minutes or shoot off a text and yet…nothing. You weren't there for me at my college graduation when you promised you would be, and that is only one instance of you breaking your word to me.

"Then—for three months—you were dating some woman who treated you like crap right after being so loving and caring towards me, flirting with me, leading me to believe you felt something for me. And instead of telling me you were shacking up, you ignored me, treated me like I didn't matter, a fucking _afterthought_. You told me you felt guilty for screwing some other woman, so to make _you _feel better, you badgered me, not too kindly, to take a lover and have sex because I was still a virgin and needed to see what it was like to have a dick inside me.

"And the worst part of it all? I let you get in my head and make me think I was undesirable, that there was something wrong with me to make you discard me so easily, repeatedly. So I had meaningless sex, giving away my virginity to some horny male out of hurt feelings instead of to the man I love as I had always intended.

"I cried afterwards when I realized how stupid I had been and sought you out for comfort. Instead, I learned about your recent ex, the reason behind your insistence I fuck someone else. And you dared to call me later and accuse _me_ of cheating on _you_, that my virginity was yours to take, and that I was unclean, used goods now that another man took what you thought was yours.

"Of course you soon went back to being lovey dovey with me, but I learned that was all a lie, _again_, when you brought Rin into the picture."

Tears were falling like rain down her face, her voice wobbling dangerously.

"Oh God, Kagome." He came towards her and jerked her into his arms and held her close, stroking the back of her hair, his voice tortured. "Please forgive me. I know that I have treated you abhorrently in the past, but no more. Believe me when I say I want only to make you smile, so please don't cry. It's killing me."

She didn't fight his embrace while he spoke, but hid her face against his chest, her palms and forearms flat on his bare chest. Now, she leaned back, disengaging from his arms even when he tried to cage her in.

She shook her head and in a hopeless tone of voice, she whispered, "You haven't changed, Sesshomaru. You're still making decisions for me, ignoring my feelings." Then she looked up at him, saw his anguished features as he realized what she was saying. "I don't believe you'll ever change."

That comment seemed to hit him in the gut, for he winced, cringing as if from a blow.

"Forgive me, Sesshomaru, but I can't marry you. I can't be with you period, not anymore."

"What are you saying?" he whispered huskily.

"I'm leaving you. After today, I can't bear it anymore. Enough is enough."

"Kagome, please! I can change—"

"I don't want to see you ever again. Don't call me, don't text me. I no longer exist in your world."

And like that, Kagome witnessed the light leave his eyes, could almost hear his heart shattering at her feet after her last words.

Finally, he understood that the heart was a fragile thing, so easily broken.


End file.
